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Nigeria's leading fictional story blog - daddy, Yes, One will chase a thousand and two would put ten thousand to flight, God, dad, marry, mom, mommy, girls end up with men like their daddies, a faithful man who can find?

Mon chéré Iréne,

Hi Darling, you are most surprised I am sending a letter. Is not that so? Well my dear, this is going to be the usual at least for a while until I'm able to settle my network provider, blow off the huge air-time debt am owing MTN. I just got so carried away! Funny MTN, imagine I will be on my own, toying with my cell phone and I will receive text messages:

'Dear 0903514.... you are now qualified to borrow air time on your mobile device, just dial...'
So I dialed and kept on dialing and dialing and now I have gone way over my head. I'm considering throwing away the darn Sim Card.

Not to worry they will beg me well before I will refund their money. I do mean to abscond. They deserve it.
How are you? How is your Mum and her baby (my prophet Samuel) and daddy, papa bom-boy? Has he finally resumed work, or he is still at home playing lovey dovey with aunty? You know, the whole idea of paternity leave still seems ridiculous to me. Men now go on paternity leave? Wonderful, in fact grotesque! What does he do? breastfeed? (Just kidding), and emotional support I guess.

Speaking of daddy, I stumbled on a group chat yesterday, while perusing through WhatsApp messages. and the topic of discussion got me. It was a guy who said "All ladies usually end up marrying their fathers". Meaning, they end up with men just like daddy! I do not know what prompted this outburst or how he came about such conclusion, but he said this and all at once a lot of people had something to say. Most of the guys there seemed to concur with that statement. However, the girls had differing opinions. You should have seen the hilarious response, a few even took it personal.

A particular lady typed, "God forbid! I won't want an abuser for hubby."

And another had said "If you insist I will marry my dad, then I wish you a drunk for a wife!"

What do you think, is this true? And would you want to marry your dad? I mean having lived with him 22 years, you have seen 'all' there is about him - the good the bad and the "everything". Knowing him inside out as it is; personality, character, temperament, quirks, attributes. Would you marry a man same as him?

For me, it was an impulsive "YES". "Yes. Yes. Yes. Heaven yes!!!" Why won't I want a man just like daddy. Daddy I have known all my life? I think it would be pure bliss living with his "clone". After all, I'm used to him like the back of my palm. Besides he is my darling, daddy's my love, my first play mate, my chocolate cream soldier, my honey Chile, my first boyfriend. Marrying a man like daddy would be a privilege and I would count myself blessed to be with someone who loves me despite the things I do. who desires to do me good always and my well being is his priority. A man whose wisdom and sound judgement would be an addendum to our family. A man who would put me first always. Really daddy is an inspiration for the kind of man I would want to marry. His love, his total devotion, commitment, makes me envy mummy her husband. P.s: sometimes.

However, after having lunch, much laughter by the side, and a few comments which I chipped in myself, I put my phone down and pondered...

"If indeed all girls end up with men like their daddies; like it or not, sometimes it just happens; would I really want to marry daddy?"

And my answer, surprisingly was... "I'm not sure!” Ha!

Irene, it felt as though I'm a betrayal. Like I am denying daddy, after all he had done for me, his labour of love, his sacrifices. Gosh, I really am the prodigal daughter, an ungrateful twerp; and to think that right now, he is seated beside me watching the NEWS.

P.S: Dad must never read this, I will just faint.

You know, growing up I was accustomed to seeing dad help mommy around the house. He cooked food, all kinds; (till today I still say it, his Jollof rice beats mommy's hands down). When he arrives home earlier than mom, he would see to the dishes, clean our nappies, wash clothes (mom's included).

He would take us to school, most times on his shoulders since we had no car then, and school was just a street away. He kept at it until growing older made us shy, and we insisted we had to walk.

He is a disciplinarian, but never an abuser and he never hit any of us without discretion, and he has never lifted a hand to strike Mom. I don't have to also state that my father is a teetotaler. You know very well how he detest alcohol and he never gave his wife cause to doubt his faithfulness. Not once has he broken his marital vows. Do not be deceived Irene, there are men who do not cheat! let no one convince you otherwise. The book of proverbs says; "a faithful man who can find?". Such men may seem elusive, but they can be found. You Just ask God.

Also daddy gives us his all; which could be time, his money (if he has), his effort, his guidance; though in reluctance. I finally came to the admission that he has sound judgement and what he tells you do, usually ends up the right thing to do.

However, I'm not so biased to deny there are so many things my daddy does, that are enough to drive a sane person (me) mad, and if hubby acts like that, then I will enjoin the 'daughters of Jerusalem' to put up 'a wailing'. Here are some of them, and as the French would say; raison d etre.

1) I don't know if this is a problem with Esan men alone, or that's how men are in general, allow pride determine the bulk of their actions.  How do I explain it so you can understand...? Well just know he is egotistic.

2) He is frightfully sarcastic: He has this gift; a tongue that is as sharp as any two-edged sword. Which, he uses very well and God help you when you offend him. It would be better if you had accidentally cut yourself with a knife, because you will very well when he is done with you. Then when you are done crying, your heart will bleed.

"Am I the one daddy just said those words to? How could he say those to me? What did I do? I was only trying to tell him that..." Irene, your mind will go bunkers.

3) Usually very stubborn; once he has made up his mind concerning any issue, especially if it involves me, his word automatically becomes law. It will take much persuasion even from mommy to bend his will just a bit. I mean 'smaaall'.

During my secondary school, that was at the time you get to decide which class you will finally belong to, Sciences or The Arts. Then our discussions were usually something like this:

"Adah you don't know math, you can't study engineering,” he had said to me. “But daddy I will work harder,” I dug in my heels. “Choose another course, that matter is closed. Good night," he ended the conversation. Gosh! That is my father for you.

4) Daddy is very difficult to please. The words ‘Thank’ and ‘You’ - 'thank you'; can hardly be found in his diction. He would say matter-of-factly, "There is no thank you in the Army" which usually would leave us (siblings and I), bemused as to how and when our house suddenly transformed into army barracks.

If you do A for him, he would tell you what he wanted was AB. Okay. You do AB, you ought to have done ABC. You do ABC and what do you have;

"Well you tried, but it's still not what I wanted. “Awesome!!!”

Then there is the matter of spirituality. Over the years I have grown accustomed to mother being the priest of our household. She teaches the word, prays, coordinates the family altar, carries the faith, fights our battles alone on her knees at night while my beloved father sleeps!

My dear I admire mommy and I hope to be a spiritual giant like her. However, knowing me, I will not allow hubby abdicate the role as priest to me. It won't be funny. I would want him to play it and play it well. He need not worry; I will be his strong support as always. Let us 'together' bring up the children in the fear of the lord.

I do feel sorry for mom in this aspect, because I know nothing would gladden her heart more than to have a husband who loves God as much as she does. I know her desires to have daddy be the one to wake her at 3am so they could both pray, read the word together and share spiritual truths.

My friend, I have come to realize that life has its bag of troubles. Each day comes with its brand new wahala, and if you don't have God, it would be really tough and even more annoying, when you feel abandoned by your spouse to deal with the spiritual warfare alone. Remember, "One will chase a thousand and two would put ten thousand to flight." This is why my first and most important attribute to look for in a spouse is; passion, zealousness toward the things of God. This is a trait that I don't find in dad.

So, no, I do not want to marry my mother's husband. All I'm really saying is, no matter how much I love my dad, and even if I happen to meet someone just like him and he also doesn't know God, my answer will be no!

"Dear Lord, I just want my own good man."

What about you, are there pet peeves about your dad, that you don't want in future hubby? Lay aside every weight of paternal patriotism which so easily ensnares, and tell me the truth.



Written by:
Eboseremen Ebare

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Nigeria's leading fictional story blog - daddy, Yes, One will chase a thousand and two would put ten thousand to flight, God, dad, marry, mom, mommy, girls end up with men like their daddies, a faithful man who can find? An African Literary Blog
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