ANGRY WIVES - Episode 2

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Nigeria's leading fictional story blog - women, derivation policy, money, town hall, husband, election results. opened the door, king of common thieves, election, the men, think of in human flesh, punching above your weight, Alibaba and the forty thieves, clear manifestation of gender inequality, suppression of the female gender.

Abike and Sisi Vokeh conferred quickly and managed to get all the women to leave the town hall. Outside, Abike who had without haste assumed the post of the women leader addressed them, “I am under no illusion that what we have witnessed this evening is a clear manifestation of gender inequality and suppression of the female gender. Let it be known to all the women of Bilia here present and absent, that we will relate with our husbands on the basis of ‘Derivation policy’. From tonight the resources between our legs and on our chests shall be fairly shared in accordance with derivation policy. From tonight every married woman in Bilia should exercise and maintain effective control over her resources.  We are also adopting Open Market Operation; you are free to bill your husbands as much as you want for a taste of your honey comb. They will pay what you want with Prince Jegede’s money which they refused to share with us.”

“No Abike! That is not all we will do. The women of Bilia, we are going to strike on all fronts until the men have give us a worthy share of that money which they have looted. If they refuse to listen to us, then we will remain on strike. You are to with anger absent from all domestic duties as a wife. And if the men dare to bring in some girls into our matrimonial homes, invite us to descend on the girls,” said Sisi Vokeh. “You need not bother with calling many women to fight the young girls, just call me, I will make the girl to urinate nonstop till men can’t stand the sight of her,” Iya Iliasu volunteered.

When Abike got home later that day she made a meal for herself, Sanko and his sister. They all ate and she retired to her room. With what Mr. Abel had seen of the women at the town hall, knew his house would be a hell of a place; a miniature of the women rage he saw at the hall would be sustained in his house. So he waited long before coming home and also made sure he had a lot to eat. He was certain Abike would be poised for a fight when he got home. Abike waited long for her husband to return and when he would not, she locked the door to make sure that whenever he came back, he would knock for her to open the door for him. She wanted to be awake when he got back, so she would give him a piece of her mind. When the knock came, Abike dragged herself out of bed and went to open the door. She had no certain way of greeting her husband; sometimes she would greet him, “Baba Sanko good morning, afternoon/evening and at other times she would greet him, “My husband good morning, afternoon/evening.”

But to night she prepared an awkward way to greet him; when she opened the door, she greeted him, “Welcome back Alibaba.” Mr. Abel was bemused, he looked to his right, left and at his back to be sure no one else was with him. “What sort of greeting is that Abike? Since when did I get the nomenclature ‘Alibaba’, appended to my name?” “Since you led your forty thieves to steal our money,” replied Abike. “Oh you are referring to the story, ‘Alibaba and the forty thieves!’ You have it all mixed up Abike. Alibaba was not one of the thieves. In the story, Ali Baba was a poor woodcutter who discovered the secret of a thieves' den, entered with the phrase "Open Sesame". The thieves learnt this, and tried to kill Ali Baba. But Ali Baba's faithful slave-girl foiled their plots; Ali Baba gave his son to her in marriage and kept the secret of the treasure.” “If that is truly the right version of the story, then you are Anini. Welcome home Anini the armed robber!”

“How could you attach the name of a common thief like Anini to my honorable and highly esteemed pedigree?” “Any man that steals from women, not just women, but women most of whom are petty traders is ‘a common thief’! And because you have engineered your fellow men to steal from us, that makes you a common thief; in fact, the king of common thieves!” “Your jumbled outbursts cannot compel a man of my class to condescend so low as to inflict corporal pain on you. I will leave you to choke on your disoriented words that are not better than those whose minds are tabula rasa. Out of my way woman!”

“Don’t worry Baba Sanko, when the election comes we will know who get table wey dey rasa. I promise you that I Abike will make sure that Prince Jegede fails massively in Bilia. The women in Bilia are more in number than the men. Before weekend we will chose our own candidate whom we will give our votes.” “Abike you don’t know when to give up, do you? You seem not to know when you are punching above your weight. The women in Bilia will do as they are told when the election comes. You and no other woman in Bilia have the power and clout to influence election results. As for the money we shared, worry not, I will give you a few notes from my share and I guess that will make you stop threatening fire and brimstone.”

“You clearly have forgotten who I am. Your knowledge of my prowess in politics in Warri has clearly been dulled by the little money Prince Jegede gave you abi? Now for a formal re-introduction, I am Abike Ogheneoboakpororo; the only woman who stopped the proud and fearsome Jite Akonawe from winning the chairmanship election in 1978. That which I did in 1978 I will do again! Now go tell that candidate of yours who calls himself a prince even though we all know that his father died a poor yam seller with no link to royalty whatsoever, that I Abike Ogheneoboakpororo, your wife; you must add that part, ‘your wife’, has declared the election result and that he failed. And that is not all Abel; from today till the elections are over, I will no longer fulfill my wifely duties to you. That is the punishment for stealing from the women. From tonight, you will cook your food, wash your clothes and make love to yourself. And if you bring in a woman into this house or take one to any hotel in town, hehe he e! I will skin the woman alive and then castrate you. Good night Abel.”

“I am not a woman who will speak and not do, so I don’t know if you want me to speak, because I will do. Oga Jerome, why did you join the men to conspire against the women over the money Prince Jegede gave to the people of Bilia?” “You see my butter wife; this is not time to start war in our house because of the money. You have to know I am on your side; I did not know how the money was going to be shared. Besides what would I have done? If I was to reject mine wouldn’t you think of me a fool…?” “But why you go reject am?” queried Sisi Vokeh. “Ehee! I am glad you can see reason with me. This is my share of the money,” Jerome said. “How much is that?” “Twenty thousand; not everyone was given this much. I got this much because of you; Donatus believes that if the husbands of those women who have the ability to galvanize other women to revolt are given much money, the rest of the women will lie low if there is no one to lead them.” “So how much were given to Mr. Abel and Baba Iliasu?” “I don’t know but I am certain they took home more than twenty thousand Naira.” “So Iya Iliasu and Abike are more dangerous than I am. Donatus thinks he can buy me cheap abi? Well when you see him tomorrow tell him he has failed.”

“But Vokeh those two are very dangerous. Iya Iliasu is a witch and Abike…ha! That woman she is not from this planet; she is every dangerous thing you can think of in human flesh.” “And me, what do you think I am?” “Ah ah! I know you can get angry sometimes and do crazy things; you are not like those women.” “Is that what you think? Well for your information, I have killed before…” “Prophet Elijah eh! What? You have killed before?” “Why do you think we left Gongola? A man attacked my younger sister in a farm to rape her; I did not know what to do, so I simply killed him and buried him in the sand.”

“And you did not tell me before I married you.” “So? Why would I tell you? Make you leave me run abi?” “Ah! Tomorrow morning, I will return this money to Donatus and Mr. Abel.” “Why would you do that?” “I didn’t know my wife is this dangerous; I want to be given as much as were given to Baba Iliasu and Mr. Abel. Vokeh, if they refuse to give me more money, I want you to scatter the whole Bilia.” “Oga Jerome, you won’t be going anywhere, they will not give you more money. Leave the whole matter to me; just keep what you have been given. We are not going to spend it until this matter has been resolved or until the women have turned Bilia on its head. On the other hand, it is important that I let you know that the women are now on strike…”

“Strike? Which strike?” “Strike from all domestic duties and it most importantly includes Joly Joly between us.” “No! No! You cannot do that; why should the strike affect me when I am on your side?” “Well that is the position of the women. If we all begin to show little favours to our husbands, then you people will not take us seriously.” “Then you people are pushing us towards infidelity…” “No Oga Jerome! You must endure like we are enduring the money you denied us. If you think say you be sharp guy, go carry baby outside then you will become the second man I will have killed so far.”


                                           CLICK HERE TO READ EPISODE 1

Written by:
Uzoma Ujor

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ANGRY WIVES - Episode 2
Nigeria's leading fictional story blog - women, derivation policy, money, town hall, husband, election results. opened the door, king of common thieves, election, the men, think of in human flesh, punching above your weight, Alibaba and the forty thieves, clear manifestation of gender inequality, suppression of the female gender. An African Literary Blog
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