YOU ARE DEAD!

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Nigeria's leading fictional story blog - ferryman, river, professor, portfolio, canoe, Imo River, prime minister of Canada, a beautiful city, Nigeria, wind, paddles.



                                                       
“Young man, be careful how you handle my portfolio,” the professor said with palpable concern. He was clad in dark suit, white shirt, grey tie and thick white socks, defying the near-madness inducing sun rays that baked the face of earth. “I put it careful, sir,” the ferryman answered as he placed the professor’s portfolio on a corner on the canoe. “Not like that!! It might skid off the canoe in transit and tumble into the surge of the river,” the professor said, waving at the ferryman haughtily. His grammar left the ferryman bamboozled. “That is better! I have books of indescribable importance to my highly valued study along the banks of Imo River,” the professor finally agreed with the ferryman’s placement of his portfolio.

Soon, the canoe was dangling on the great Imo River. The professor brought out his old rusty camera and began to take pictures. He had been hired by a Chinese company to identify a sight for possible construction of a dam along the River. The sun continued to shine relentlessly. Birds of all sorts paid homage to the River, stopping by for a drink of water with visible humility. The River snaked through the forest, carving new channels as the levels rose with recent rains.

“Young man, do you understand the science of hydrogeology?” The professor asked the ferryman. “High what sir?” The ferryman asked him. “You mean you have no knowledge of hydrogeology? The science of the undercurrents and ‘upper-currents’ of water movements? And you work on water?” The ferryman shook his head. His face revealed his utter confusion. He tried to concentrate on his job; ferrying the professor down the River.

“So do you go to school?” the professor asked him. “No sir?” “That is preposterous. Unacceptable!” The ferryman continued to paddle, ignoring the professor. “So, do you know the capital of Borno State?” “No sir.” “This is unbelievable. In this age? You should be in school young man. Education is the key to success. Do you know the capital of Russia?” “No sir.” “My goodness! You have never heard of Moscow?” “Did you say mosque sir?” “Mosque is different young man. I said Moscow…a beautiful city. Do you know the capital of Canada?” “No sir.” I am losing my mind here. You have never heard of Ottawa?” “No sir.” “So, do you know who is the prime minister of Canada?” “I have no idea sir.”

“This is a travesty? What do you know? An absolute waste of human capital and intellectual resources. What do you do with your brain cells…your dura matter and medulla oblongata? You have to train your mental department…your most important asset!” The ferryman looked at him while paddling, unaware of what the professor was blabbing about. “I am serious young man…do you know the capital of India?” “No sir.” “Who was the first president of Nigeria?” “I have no idea sir.”

Soon, a wind began to blow ferociously. “I hope this wind is not serious. The village medicine man said a strong wind would pass through the land today. He must have been right,” the ferryman explained. “Who believes all that traditional jingoism and fetish shenanigans?” The professor asked him. The wind picked up as though to silence the professor, but he would not stop. “Science…science, young man is the mirror through which you can x-ray the dilemmas that plague life and gain a deeper fathom of their roots,” he continued to yap away. By now, the canoe was rocking seriously under the influence of gusty winds.

“This is no life…how can you live in total ignorance; incognizant of the world around you? You are not living young man…you are not living,” the professor preached non-stop to him. The canoe began to toss and dangle. The wind had picked up seriously. Waves appeared from nowhere, threatening to capsize the canoe. Finally, the professor shut his mouth for once. “Can you swim sir?” The ferryman asked him. He shook his head. A strong wind hit the side of the canoe. It tilted frighteningly, forcing the ferryman to abandon his paddles. He stood up, ready to dive into the turbulent waters. “This is no life,” he said to the professor. “How can you live without the simple things of life, like swimming? How can you travel the world and not be able to swim sire?” He asked the professor as he dove into the River.

“Help me!!!” The professor begged as the canoe tilted over, dumping the professor and his portfolio into the River. “Please help me!!!” He yelled, raising his hand in the air as he sought help desperately. The ferryman had quickly swum across. He watched from land as the River dragged the professor and his suit and important portfolio towards the bottom of the great Imo River.  “This is critical, young man. Please help me!!” “You are dead, professor. You are a dead man for not knowing a simple skill such as swimming!!!” The ferryman yelled back at him!


THE END

Written by:
Victor Chinoo

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Moofyme.com: An African Literary Blog: YOU ARE DEAD!
YOU ARE DEAD!
Nigeria's leading fictional story blog - ferryman, river, professor, portfolio, canoe, Imo River, prime minister of Canada, a beautiful city, Nigeria, wind, paddles.
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