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Nigeria's leading fictional story blog - three weeks, the night, balcony, neighbour, spirits, wife, prophetess, Jesu, Naira, water.

Kalu opened his door and sat on the balcony. It was 6:45 am in the morning. Usually before this time of the day, he will have been on his way to work on Lagos Island. For three weeks he had been going through hair-splitting spiritual attacks in his flat. The one he went through the previous night was the worst in those three weeks. It was a miracle that he survived the night. He had been afraid to confide in his friends lest they think him to be jinxed. His next door neighbour’s wife was passing in front his flat to drape her baby clothes and was shocked to see him sitting on the floor of his balcony with two hands on his head.

“Kalu, you won’t be going to work today, will you? Are you okay?” she asked. Kalu said no word. His head was still bent. Tears were flowing down his eyes. His neighbour had not seen he was in tears. She stepped closer and removed his hand from his head. Kalu raised his head as more tears flooded down his cheek. “What is it?!” His neighbor asked with alarm in her voice. “Is someone dead?” Kalu nodded his head, indicating her guess was wrong. “If no one is dead, what is it then? Should I call my husband?” “No,” Kalu finally spoke up. “My flat is haunted. Spirits beat me up at night. They come in hundreds, with mangled faces and long claws,” he continued. His neighbour stepped back in fear as though the spirits were still around.

She was going to offer him a piece of advice but decided not to. “I need to tell my husband, he must know what you will do,” she said before dashing off. “God, please help me stop these attacks or take my life,” Kalu mumbled amid hot tears. Some minutes later, Kalu’s neighbour, Ijeoma, returned with her husband. “Kalu, my wife just told me what you are going through. You must act fast; I know a place you can get help…” Ijeoma’s husband was saying. “I don’t want help which would come with grave consequences. I will wait for God,” Kalu Cut in. “No Kalu, this won’t cost you much. The person I will take you to is a prophetess, she stays by the sea. A bottle of her miraculous water from the sea will put the spirits on the run.” “Have you tried her before?” Kalu asked. “Yes, she is a woman of God! I use her water in my workplace and in my wife’s shop, spirits don’t mess with us. Get up let’s be on our way!”

Kalu hesitated, before making up his mind to give the prophetess a try. “Let me go dress up,” Kalu said. A few minutes later he came. Ijeoma’s husband had already driven out his car and was waiting for him. Kalu got in the car and they drove off to go see the prophetess by the sea. The prophetess was a fat Yoruba woman who was way too agile for her size. “Jah Jehovah Oluwa o!!” She shouted when she saw Kalu. Kalu being wary of prophets and prophetesses and the things they prophesy, stood still. “Eje Jesu! Eje Jesu! Jah Jehovah Oluwa o!” The prophetess jumped very high, swung around when she landed on her feet and bolted to some distance away from Kalu. Eve Kalu’s neighbour put some distance between him and Kalu. If the mighty prophetess was running from the spirits which followed Kalu to the sea, who was he to stand? “The spirits are too many! They are angry!” The prophetess said to Kalu when she turned to face him from where she stood.

Omo ibo (Igbo boy!) Why did you leave Folake? Why did you not listen to your grandmother? Why did you leave the girl she recommended for you? You followed Nkeshi (Nkechi) for big bum-bum! Now see where you land (landed) yourself! “Eje Jesu! Eje Jesu! Eje Jesu!! Oluwa o!!!” Kalu was shocked to see how the prophetess revealed his secrets in just minutes.  “Remove your clothes and get in the water!” The prophetess ordered Kalu. He stripped off his clothes except for his boxer shorts and stepped into the bank of the sea. “Bola o!” the prophetess called out to one of her helps, the help came running with a metal bucket and a pack of salt. She knew what to do. She tore open the pack of salt, emptied it into the bucket and offered it to Kalu. “Fill the bucket with seawater and begin to bathe with it. Each time you scoop up the water on your body, you must call Folake’s name and ask for her forgiveness.” That was odd to Kalu. He was not the one who offended, Folake. She had taken a walk from him after he caught her pants down with another man in his flat. Truly, his grandmother had recommended Folake and had warned him never to leave her, but he could not see how he was at fault in this case. Without arguing, Kalu began to bathe with the salt water asking Folake to forgive him. While he bathe, he could not help thinking he had run into some fraudster prophetess. Maybe my neighbor told him all about me and Folake. I didn’t leave Folake for Nkechi, I like her bum-bum though, but she is what a woman should be. She pleases me and is homely, he thought.

Omo Ibo, stop thinking and have your bath quick! Do you want the spirits to go back home with you?” Kalu shook his head, indicating he wanted the ghostly attacks to end. Some thirty minutes later, the prophetess loaded Kalu with candles and incense to burn by night, holy water and holy oil. After those, she gave him some passages in the Psalms to read by midnight, after which he would apologize to his dead grandmother for leaving Folake. Kalu was not sure any of those would work. Something did not just add up; he wanted to ask a few questions but chose not to. His neighbor was brimming with smile, and nodded his head vigorously. Kalu took that to mean the instructions given him by the prophetess would work. “Omo Ibo, your money is eighty thousand Naira,” The prophetess announced. “Eighty what?!!” Kalu shouted. He looked at his neighbor and he seemed not surprised by the bill given to him. He turned to the prophetess and said, “Prophetess, I will not pay that much. Gbam! In fact, I don’t want your items again!” Kalu dropped the items given to him on the ground and made to storm away in anger.

“You cannot bathe my miracle salt and walk away without paying o! Your problems will multiply Omo Ibo!” The prophetess warned. “I cannot just pay that much, madam. Your price is ridiculously exorbitant!” “Yes! And it is so because spiritual problems are costly. You either pay or the spirits will continue to beat you every night. When you die Folake will marry another man!” “Well, I will prefer to receive the beatings than pay eighty thousand Naira! Can’t you see things are hard very hard now?” “The spirits do not know that Kalu. Pay if you can. What use would the money be to you if you don’t have peace in your life?” His neighbor asked. “I simply don’t have that much.” “How much do you have?” the prophetess asked. “I only have ten thousand Naira on me, and that is the much I am willing to part with.” “Because of Jesu Christi, I will collect thirty thousand Naira from you. Give me the ten thousand Naira and come back later with the balance of twenty thousand Naira. If you don’t see any changes to night, then know that Oluwa did not call me to this ministry.”

Kalu was happy with the bargain he got. He had got 50 thousand Naira whittled off the initial amount given to him. He agreed to return the next day with twenty thousand Naira and left with his neighbour. At night he was careful to do everything the prophetess asked him to do. Much to his surprise he slept through the night without a single touch from the spirits which had made his life miserable for the last two weeks. He was excited and promised himself he would go collect the prophetess’ number from his neighbour and give her a call when he got to work. Before he could leave for work that morning, he got a call. When he picked it, it was the prophetess. “Prophetess, how did you get my number?” Kalu asked. “Omo Ibo, Jesu Christi revealed to me your number. Tell me, what happened last night?” “Prophetess, I slept well. In fact, I slept like a baby!” “Now you have seen I serve a mighty God! Doesn’t this God deserve your eighty thousand Naira?” She asked. “He does prophetess, but Oluwa knows I can’t afford eighty thousand Naira at the moment.” “It is okay, Omo Ibo, when you are coming with my balance, add a small wave offering to it, Jesu Christi will be pleased with that.” “Okay prophetess.” “Have a nice day, Omo Ibo.” “And you too prophetess.” “Wait Omo Ibo! Huh! Huh! Eje Jesu! Eje Jesu! Yes, Lord! Yes, Jesu Christi! Omo Ibo!!” “Yes prophetess, Folake shall find you today. Your grandmother has heard your cry for forgiveness. When Folake comes, make sure you make her happy…”

“But prophetess you have not asked me what led to Folake leaving me. She was cheating on me. I am not sure I want to see…” “Shut up and obey Jesu Christi!” Kalu was stunned by that. He wasn’t even sure his grandmother was in heaven, she died a hardcore traditionalist. How could she be working together with Jesu Christi? She had recommended Folake to him because she understood some of the herbs she used and for that saw Folake as the one who would look after her many shrines in the village when she will have died.

Story continues...              CLICK HERE TO READ EPISODE 2


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