RIPPLES - Episode 3

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Nigeria's leading fictional story blog - HIV positive, pains, counselor, sex, my ex, pregnancy, HIV, sorrows, sweeping the house, container, drug, two tablets were missing, bag.

In those difficult days, one of my ex-boyfriends came back. In my broken state, I opened up and told him about my troubles and sorrows, keeping only from him the fact that I was HIV positive. I was in a lot of pains and needed a way out. Sadly, my ex could only offer me alcohol to drown out my pains. I knew alcohol wasn’t good for me. The smallest amount of it would mess me up, leaving me drunk. At this time, I didn’t care. I wanted to forget all my pains. I drank as much as I could and got drunk. My ex took advantage of that and drove me to his house and had sex with me. If he had known I was HIV positive, I doubt he would have done that. He knew that alcohol was not good for me, but when he offered it to me, I had no idea what he was planning. Shortly after the sex with him, I got pregnant. I was devastated, and as was my habit, I ran back to my counselor. I wanted to remove the pregnancy but he advised me not to. As a result of my health condition, that could be dangerous for me. In spite of his warnings, I went ahead and removed the pregnancy. I didn’t tell my ex about the pregnancy because he would have denied he was responsible for it; however, one thing the pregnancy did for me was to destroy the conception that I could not get pregnant. After what I had gone through in my marriage with Max, I had begun to think I would never have a baby. Life is really not a straight road. For a long time, I sought a baby in my marriage, and strangely after one round of sex with my ex I got pregnant.

At this period, I was going through the mills. Life was becoming darker for me and I could tell I was slipping away into destructive thoughts. Pains and sorrows became my best companions. I had to go see my counselor again. He directed me to seek God fervently in repentance. With no other option available to me, I began to seek God zealously. In my truthful repentance, I felt the cloud of darkness over my life break. Unbelievably joy began to ring out in my heart. Though I was still HIV positive, I could tell I had made contact with God, and he had heard me. On the heels of the joy which characterized me at this time, I took my final exam and came out with the best result in the history of my school. Shortly after that, I wrote a national certification exam in my field of discipline and came out second best. At this time my faith in God began to soar. My health was beginning to recover bit by bit. I knew with all that had happened that God had heard my nightly cry.

When I went for National Youth Service Corp programme, I made sure I stayed in touch with my counselor and kept him in the loop about every progress I made. Since God had begun to bless me after my years of pains, I decided to step things up a bit. I still had desire to get married and so I told my counselor about it. He instructed me about what to do to get married. I followed his instruction religiously till I fulfilled it. Exactly three months after I fulfilled my counselor’s instruction, my first love, Ben came back. You remember Ben of course. Ben was the love of my life whom my parents would not allow me to get married to. It was both ways, our parents opposed our marriage. When Ben got in touch with me, I quickly told me counselor about it and he told me to give him a chance. Shortly after I and Ben began to go out again, he invited me to see him in Port Harcourt. When I arrived at Port Harcourt, I was shocked to see how much God had blessed him. He had bought land and built his own house. It was a grand house and was expensively furnished.

My troubles had thought me a lot. I was determined not to make any of my mistakes in the past. My new found faith in God was the basis on which I made decisions in my new relationship with Ben. We had to agree to stay away from sex. So in Ben’s house, I took a room to myself. I kept out of his bedroom and he stay away from my room. For reasons best known to Ben at this time, he was eager to do things right as I was. Because of how well things were going between Ben and I, I was terrified about how to tell him about my HIV status. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I didn’t know how to go about it. One certain day, while Ben was at work, I decided to clean the house. While I was sweeping the house, a container fell from the shelve, when I picked it up I decided to know what was in it. To my surprise, it contained a certain drug and I knew what kind of drug it was.

With the experience I had then, I knew what to do. I counted the tablets and returned the container to the shelve. Two days later when Ben had gone to work, I went to count the tablets of the drug again and found out that two tablets were missing. I knew it was time to have a chat with Ben about the drug. When I brought it up, he calmly told me that the drug was septrin. I didn’t buy that because I knew septrin. On several occasions I had given it to my father. I told Ben to his face that the drug was not septrin. Seeing I had caught him in that area, he switched and told me that it was BP drug. I didn’t know BP drug, but I knew the drug I had seen, and so I told him that the drug was not BP drug. I was ruthless in knocking the bottom off his excuses. He was boxed in and he knew it. Only the truth would save the day.

Ben had to kneel down and confessed the truth to me. The drug I had seen in a container in the shelve was HIV drug. He told me that after we had gone separate ways, he contracted HIV. He was certain he didn’t have it while we were dating. I didn’t have to say anything. I went into my room and came out with my bag. When Ben saw the bag, he grabbed it, thinking I was about to leave his house. I pleaded with him to let go of the bag, but he would not. He was emotionally flustered. His conviction was that I was going to leave him. After minutes of pleading with him to let go of the bag and he would not, I had to shove my hand into my bag and brought out my own container of HIV drug. Ben was stunned. I told him that I was also HIV positive and that I didn’t have it while we were dating.

Having found a common ground which made us open about our health statuses, our relationship was solidified. We didn’t have to date for long to know each other. We had dated in the past and came to the point of getting married but our parents refused to let us marry. This time, things would be different. When Ben proposed again, I went back to my parents and he went to his parents. Both his parents and mine parents did not object to our getting married. Today, I am married to Ben, the love of my life, and we are blessed with two children. This is what breaks my heart about my story, if our parents had allowed us to get married the first time, I and Ben would never have gone through the things we went through. We would never have contracted HIV. If I and Ben had fought for our love, we would never have gone through the pains that almost killed us. If I had fought for what I believed in and saw the day Ben walked into that restaurant, my story would have been different. God dropped my man on my lap and I allowed my parents’ opinions and his parents’ opinions to drive us apart and into pains. Like I said from the beginning of this story, this is life. It is merciless; you must fight for what you believe in. You must go for what is best for you. For a moment, never give people the chance to tell you that you don’t have the right to the things you want in life. Go for what would make you and God happy. I have learnt through pains; you don’t have to. I hope and pray someone out there would learn from my story. Thanks a lot to moofyme for letting me tell my story.

The above true life story was written by Linda Ogbe (actual name withheld) and was edited by editorial team. Linda’s story made some of us to cry a river. You will find loads of lessons in her true life story.


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RIPPLES - Episode 3
Nigeria's leading fictional story blog - HIV positive, pains, counselor, sex, my ex, pregnancy, HIV, sorrows, sweeping the house, container, drug, two tablets were missing, bag. An African Literary Blog
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