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I was overjoyed to finally have Funmi with me in the US. She failed her first law exam, and afterwards, she said she was not willing to take it again. She did not want to practice law any more. In the meantime, she stayed at home while she tried to figure out what business she could start. As a result, I was saddled with the responsibility of providing for us – we had mortgage payment, two cars with the attendant insurance premiums (by the way, the cars were not fully paid for, so I had to make monthly payments for the cars), and other financial outgoings. I worked hard to make sure we did not lack. I worked like a donkey, really. In addition, I had to raise extra cash to help Funmi start a business. Funmi was always there for me, though so I was willing to do all that to make her happy. My friends back in Nigeria, or should I say my former friends looked forward to the day my life would come crashing down…and it did.
One Saturday evening, we were invited over for barbecue by my new neighbor. He was a younger single man who worked in IT. He had other friends and neighbors over too. By late evening, everyone retired home including Funmi who was pregnant. She was too tired, so I helped her to bed. Afterwards, I returned to my neighbor’s and we sat outside and sipped wine on his porch. It was a beautiful summer evening. “I don’t want to be overly invasive, but I think you are a good guy. You ought to know this,” my neighbor, Arnold said. “Know what?” I asked. “I think your wife is cheating,” he said abruptly. “You are joking,” I shot back at him. “I know it hurts, but you are better off dealing with it now before it gets out of hand. Chances are that you are not responsible for your wife’s pregnancy.” I wanted to give him one across the face, but I restrained myself. “Why do you say that,” I asked, even though I had no shred of concern about his accusation. “Each time you leave for work in the morning, your wife leaves and she does not return for hours. She does not work, which leads me to wonder where she normally goes. I think she is seeing someone.”
As far as I knew, Funmi had no friends in town. Everyone she knew, I had introduced to her. I could not begin to fathom where she went every day if at all she went anywhere. “If you think I am lying, then follow her one of these days. Rent a car, pretend you are off to work, instead, switch cars and follow her. It is possible that she meets men online on dating sites.” I was shocked. Why would Arnold be saying these things, I thought. “Okay, there is no point beating about the bush,” he said. “I found your wife on a dating site.” “What?” I shouted. It was a cool dry evening in upstate New York, but I could feel my palms sweating. Thick streaks of sweat began to march across my forehead. “Let me show you,” Arnold said leading me to his living room. He opened his laptop and typed in the web address of a notorious hookup website into the address bar. He logged on to his account and conducted a search for available women in the area. Lo and behold, there was Funmi’s picture. Then I saw another picture of her and another on her profile. She was showing some parts of her body in very suggestive ways – the way you would not want anyone to see your wife in public. It was as if my eyeballs were falling off my eye sockets and dropping to ground. To make matters worse, she claimed to be single on her profile.
I thought I was going to die that night. My whole world came crashing down. If I had a gun, I cannot say for sure that I would not have blown Funmi’s brains off that night. Arnold talked me into investigating the matter thoroughly before confronting her. We set a plan in motion. First, I saved all those pictures off her profile. The next morning, as she pecked me on the cheek and said, “I love you honey. Have a lovely day.” I wanted to beat her into the ground. I managed a smile on my face as I left. I had given my keys to Arnold. We talked over the phone from work. He was walking from home. Soon after I had left, Funmi got in her car and drove away. Arnold entered our house with my keys, took her laptop and hacked into her account on the hookup site. He sent me message that Funmi had exchanged with several men that she had slept with. From her account, she had slept with at least twenty five different men. She went back to some of them a number of times, and some she met only once.
Who did I marry? I asked myself as I looked through her account. Arnold had sent me the password. I downloaded everything and had them saved. When I confronted the devil called Funmi about her infidelity, she looked me straight in the eye and lied. When I presented her with evidence, she filed for a divorce. Before I knew it, the man she had slept with more often than the rest helped her to drag me to court asking for the house that I had been paying for with my hard-earned money. Being a lawyer, I fought back too, but because she was pregnant, the court gave her the house. I had to fight another two years to prove that her child was not mine; else I would have had to pay her child support for years.
Not long after I moved out, another man moved in with her. He too found out later that he was not the father of Funmi’s child as Funmi had claimed. After years if fighting, I managed to get my house back. Funmi was not able to keep up with the mortgage as she had no job and was too lazy to work. Thankfully, I was not paying her child support since her child was not mine. She fled back to Nigeria in search of relative safety. I found that she continued on the path back in Nigeria, seducing politicians with her beauty and charm. All along, I had thought I was in charge. I could have sworn that I was the one who lured Funmi out of her relationship with Akujiobi, but looking at it now, I think she knew what she was doing all along. Does that absolve me of wrongdoing? Of course not. I was neck-deep involved. I ruined some of the finest friendships I ever had. Now, I am having to start life all over again – no children, no wife, and no close friends. I lost it all…I nearly lost my house too.
After he found out that I had been sleeping with his girlfriend behind his back, Akujiobi told me that Karma would catch up with me. In my youthful exuberance and arrogance, I told him to go to hell. Well, I guess I am the one in hell now. I guess that is Karma. It is not just about what I lost, but more about the heartbreak…my trust that was abused by Funmi. The same trust that I had abused when I began to sleep with her. I wish I could take back everything I did, but unfortunately, I can’t. I feel a lot of guilt for what I did to a dear friend. I find myself flirting with depression sometimes. I don’t trust women anymore, so remarrying is not in my book for now. Hopefully I can get past this someday and begin to live again! Most of all, I hope Akujiobi and my other friends will come to forgive me someday.
The above true life story was sent in by Sam Odega (actual name withheld) and was edited by moofyme.com editorial team. Sam Odega is an avid fan of moofyme.com.
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