Nigeria's leading fictional story blog - Enugu to Aba for the ceremony, politician, Abia State house committee chairman, brand new Lexus Jeep, boyfriend and girlfriend, My classmates laughed radio, television.
We stood in a small group - young boys and girls in university, bristling with life and vitality. We chatted ebulliently and laughed like we had no cares in the world. Actually, we had none; apart from boyfriend and girlfriend issues and the academic demands of university. Anyway, it was a dear friend and classmate’s wedding ceremony and we had all traveled from Enugu to Aba for the ceremony. Her husband was in politics, so her wedding had attracted the political bigwigs of Abia and Ebonyi States. Beside us was a group of politicians who chatted just as energetically. Around them were policemen who stood in guard with razor-sharp focus, wielding guns menacingly like guerrillas on a mission. I noticed that one of them was looking in our direction. He made little effort to mask his interest in our group. Soon, he walked towards us, staring intently at one of my close friends, Ifeoma.
Ifeoma is a paragon of beauty – tall, long legs, pretty, sparkly eyes; she had it all. “Young girl do you know me?” He asked. His voice reeked abundantly of arrogance. He wielded his well-manicured walking stick with sheer haughtiness. On his face was an annoying smirk. He ignored me and the rest of my group, zeroing in completely on his intended prize – Ifeoma, who was standing beside me. His traditional outfit, ‘Ishiagu’ dazzled under the watchful eyes of the sun. “I am afraid I don’t know you,” Ifeoma answered politely. “You mean you don’t see me on your radio?” He asked forcefully. Ifeoma’s mouth was hanging open in absolute awe. She took a quick look at me as she sought to find out if I had heard what she heard. My eyes were bulging with surprise. Disdain would be the apt word. The politician was busy wielding a walking stick as he awaited an answer from her. Before she could answer, I jumped in. I could no longer stand the politician’s arrogance and ‘blind ignorance’.
Taking Ifeoma’s hand in mine as though she and I were boyfriend and girlfriend, I said, “I am perfectly sure that radios don’t show pictures.” It was my turn to wear an arrogant grin on my face. My classmates laughed, doing little to mask their admiration for my response to the politician’s ‘goof’. “Come on, I meant to say television,” he replied as he fought back to save his face. I am sure you have seen me on television several times. I used to be the commissioner of works. I was the one that ‘builded’ the road from the tower to the government house,” he answered. “You mean built?” Ifeoma asked. We were all striving to repress the laughter that was raging in each of us. As if on cue, one of his security orderlies (policeman) walked towards him holding a phone in hand. “Oga (sir), your phone dey ring (your phone is ringing),” he said.
“Shut it down. ‘Remember’ me the call later,” he said. “Okay sir, I will remind you that,” the policeman answered. “Shut your mouth Stanley. How dare you correct my English,” he said angrily. “I am sorry sir,” the policeman answered obediently. “Don’t mind him,” he said to Ifeoma, trying to look unruffled. “I am the Abia State house committee chairman on works. Can I ‘has’ a word with you in private? My Jeep is over there.” He pointed at his brand new Lexus Jeep. “We can have some ‘private’ in the car to get to know one another better.” “I am sorry, I cannot have a word with you sir,” Ifeoma answered. “It would be rude to have some privacy with you. As you can see, my boyfriend is here.” Ifeoma explained. I nodded my head in agreement. “Young man, nothing ‘harmless’ will happen, I promise you. I just need to ask your friend here a few questions. By the way what do you study? I am sure I can help you with a job when you graduate,” he added. I thought of landing a punch in his face, but one look at the policemen quickly brought me back to my senses.
I could hear one of my classmates, Chinomso grumbling. He too felt like pouncing on the arrogant politician. “I don’t need a job. I am fine,” I answered barely masking my disdain for him. I placed my left arm around Ifeoma’s waist and held her close to me in a clear effort to ward off this unruly politician. Ifeoma yielded completely, leaning gladly into me with a thinly veiled flirtatious look in her eyes. I could see that the politician was swallowing hard, perhaps imagining himself in bed with Ifeoma. “Do you need some money to return to university?” He asked eager to make a catch. He was quite audacious – clearly looking to bribe me out of the way in broad day light. I swung Ifeoma around ignoring him. I could hardly hide the anger that was boiling within me. “Ife darling, why don’t we go and sit down over there. Hopefully we can find some ‘harmless private’ there for a quick kiss,” I answered in a clear effort to humiliate him. “You are right. I could use your lips on mine with some ‘private,” Ifeoma answered. We turned our backs on him and walked away. He was finally forced to retreat. He could not stop staring at Ifeoma even as he walked away. “What an idiot,” Ifeoma said as we walked away. “I wish I could give him one across the mouth,” I replied, grabbing firmly at Ifeoma with utter satisfaction and a sense of victory running wild in me.
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